Why We Need More Circles
“The opposite of patriarchy isn't matriarchy — it's circle.”
— Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen
I’ve been involved (in some form or another) in circles my entire life without realizing that’s what it actually was. I’ve always naturally been drawn to communities that approach interaction from an equitable standpoint rather than a hierarchal one. My work with trauma clients has always stemmed from a place of collaboration and my teaching style is very much experiential, collaborative, and co-creative rather than me speaking from a place of “expertise.”
This is all to say that circles have been a major aspect of my life and I didn’t realize how important this was until recently in my work on facilitation, the trinity wounds, and creative empowerment.
What is [a] circle?
One definition of a circle by Merriam Webster is:
: a group of people with shared professions, interests, or acquaintances.
That leaves the interpretation of a circle up to context. And the context that I want to talk about circles is this:
Circle and leadership
Circle and transformation
Circle and empowerment
For the purposes and context of this article, I want to tell you my personal definition of a circle:
The gathering of individuals in an equitable way with the intention of personal and collective empowerment and transformation.
Let’s break that down even further.
The gathering of individuals in an equitable way means that every participant of a circle is equal in what they have to contribute, say, do and think. There is no “leader.” This gathering is a safe space to discuss, grow and promote transformation because of the equitable and collaborative nature of the circle
With intention of personal and collective empowerment and transformation means that every participant in the circle has something meaningful and valuable to contribute to the personal and collective growth of everyone involved.
Personal and Collective empowerment and transformation mean that every participant in the circle wants to become an empowered individual as well as empower others in the circle. It means that every participant willingly and intentionally meets in this circle to learn how they can reach a new level of transformation personally as well as collectively.
What does this look like in practice?
To be clear, there are already thousands of women who are involved in creating and building circles around the globe. We have so many examples to pull from because so many individuals have recognized the importance of circles and are spearheading the efforts on making circles more visible and impactful. And this can vary widely in how it “looks.” Pulling from my personal experience, circles can look like:
A morning writing group that discusses the ways in which we are individually and collectively healing through consistent writing practices
A group of women who come together to discuss the systems of oppression in our society and culture
A monthly group that discusses how creativity can empower and transform how we think about ourselves and the world around us
A group that focuses on specific topics like healing the mother, sister, or witch wound
Circles can look so varied and widely different because that’s what is needed in this world. Everyone resonates and responds to certain causes or pain points. Circle is all about finding what you perceive to be “missing” in your life and discovering that it’s not missing at all! Circle is about finding that safe space for you to show up as your authentic and true self without the fear of judgment, rejection, or shaming.
What circles can do for you individually and as a collective whole
“When women gather, there is collective power to heal, find our voice, rise up and make a difference”
Circles provide a safe space to process, learn, discuss, grow and unlearn the things we’ve been conditioned to believe or think by our society or culture
Circles provide a support structure that is based on equitable measures — where every individual is as important as the next and provides support in different, but equally important ways.
Circles facilitate a safe space to question, consider, and rethink topics that are most relevant to the individuals involved
Circles offer an unparalleled place to fall apart and be stitched back together by all circle members.
Can you see just how impactful and important circles can be for yourself and for those around you? Can you imagine a world in which circles are a regular part of our lives? Can you envision a world in which you get to express yourself authentically and not only be supported by others but actually be seen, heard, and validated?
You guys, I can’t emphasize enough what this can do for our individual healing as well as collective healing. I’ve witnessed it. I’ve been a part of it. I see and know in my bones the power that a circle can have.
And you don’t need anything except a willingness to be brave, authentic, and open-minded to benefit from a circle.
The Circles are Calling — Will You Answer?
Every day, more and more circles are being built. Every day, more and more individuals are waking up to their inherent power and answering the call of a circle. This is my personal invitation to you, dear reader, to listen for the call and answer it when it comes.
