The Trinity Wounds: An Introduction
I’m going to start this series of articles with some deep and probing questions. I will warn you: they’re going to be uncomfortable. And it’s perfectly okay if they’re uncomfortable because, in the questioning of why we feel uncomfortable with these questions, we find the magic of awareness. But if I can ask one thing of you in regards to these questions, it’s to be curious and honest with yourself.
Have you ever identified with any of these statements:
You find yourself in a constant state of not feeling good enough.
You feel a consistent background sense that there is something wrong with you.
You feel you must remain small in order to be loved.
You have a sense of guilt for wanting more than you currently have
You fear rejection from your mother or other “mother-like” figures in your life
You are inherently distrustful of women (especially those who are not in your inner circle)
You feel consistently judged and misunderstood by other women for your life choices or decisions
You feel excluded from certain situations, events, or occasions because of who you are
You feel a consistent comparison with other women, even ones you trust and look up to
You feel you must “hide” or “be quiet” about your spirituality or world views from others (both women and men)
You feel a sense of fear and threat to survival when you feel in opposition to what the “majority” is telling you to do, think, feel, be.
You shy away from fully being yourself for fear of rejection, being ostracized, or accused of being “wrong” or “bad.”
You feel you must suppress some of your practices, rituals, or cultural traditions as not to appear “othered” or “different.”
If you identify with one, many, or all of these statements, you may be dealing with one (or all) of the Trinity Wounds.
Let me back up and explain what the trinity wounds are and how they show up in our lives.
What are the Trinity Wounds?
I’ve taken to calling the three separate (but interlinked) wounds the Trinity Wounds because they are so inextricably linked together throughout our history. All three of these wounds have very long histories and would be considered as part of Intergenerational trauma. I will be going in-depth with all three of the wounds but for the purposes of this article, I’ll give you a brief overview of each.
The Mother Wound
The Mother Wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that are used to process that pain.
The Sister Wound
The Sister Wound is the pain of being consistently betrayed or wounded by other women in our lives and culture. This wound is enhanced by societal expectations, standards, and the other wounds (like mother and witch wounds) that we encounter in life.
The Witch Wound
The Witch wound is the pain of being hunted and persecuted for being a woman with strong convictions and inherent power. This wound extends all the way back to the burning times and is ancestral trauma passed down generation after generation.
As you can see, these wounds are deeply rooted in our cultural and ancestral DNA. These are not wounds that we can simply “brush off.” And they’re wounds that we can no longer afford to ignore.
What I’ve been discovering in my work with the Trinity Wounds is that in order to make this world a better, more enduring place, we have to do this hard work. We just have to. There is no bypassing or going “around” the issues because they are so deeply embedded into who we are as human beings (and as women).
The Personal Cost of Not Healing These Wounds
A pervasive feeling that “there’s something wrong with me.”
Refusing to live up to your potential because you fear failure or disapproval.
Having undefined or weak boundaries
An unclear sense of who you are
Not feeling worthy of creating or building what you really desire
Shrinking yourself so as not to take up space
Not voicing your truths or standing up for yourself and your beliefs
The constant fear of “rocking the boat”
Unconscious self-sabotage
Waiting for permission or approval before claiming your life as your own
Feeling constantly threatened and unsafe around other women
Feeling a sense of being “othered” or “rejected” because of your spiritual or cultural beliefs
The Collective Cost of Not Healing These Wounds
The lack of “safe spaces” to process, heal and break the cycle of these wounds
A divided and inconsistent world of “us” versus “them” mentality
A constant and pervasive scarcity mindset
Continued intergenerational trauma
The Power in Healing These Wounds
As we begin to heal these wounds individually, we begin to create safe spaces for other women to do the same
As we begin to collectively heal from these wounds, we STOP the intergenerational trauma cycle and begin to empower our younger generations to bring forth a better world.
When we’ve collectively healed these wounds, the power dynamics in our society and culture will begin to shift to a more just and equitable world
As we heal these wounds individually, we begin to see our inherent power and capabilities and can then begin to empower others to embrace their own inherent power and capabilities.
What’s next?
Over the next few articles, I’ll be doing a deep dive into each of the specific wounds so we can begin to explore how these wounds came to be, how they’re showing up in our lives daily, and what we can do individually and collectively to start healing those wounds.
