And So It Is
I have to start this piece by admitting that I didn’t grow up religious or with a particular faith. In fact, it wasn’t until I was around 10 or 11 that I was “baptized” and sent to church camp. I don’t remember much about those days except that I went around from cabin to cabin and said that it wasn’t a sin to be gay. You can guess how that went over. Even then, I was emotionally and philosophically rebellious. Growing up in the Midwest, the words “religion” and “spirituality” were synonymous. I truly believed they both meant the same thing and that they were mutually exclusive.
I was very, very wrong.
Why am I starting this piece with that backstory? Because twenty-ish years later, I’m still emotionally and philosophically rebellious…
but I’ve also become highly spiritual (but not religious).
If you’re questioning the differences, this is a great little primer I found:
What is the Difference Between Religion and Spirituality? - Happier Human
And it didn’t happen because I “found God.” It didn’t happen because I hit rock bottom and needed to be “saved.”
To be quite frank, it happened slowly, then all at once. At the beginning of COVID, I yearned for an anchor to my creativity, to a group of people who were searching for accountability and inspiration. I found it within a small but mighty group called “Cultivating Creativity.” While I expected to grow closer to my creativity and establish a healthier routine for myself, what I didn’t expect was a gentle introduction to spirituality.
Maybe intuitively (another area of growth for me), I knew that creativity and spirituality were intertwined, but not cognitively. Yes, writing has always been a kind of “spiritual” experience for me, but not in a way I could put a name to. But as I learned about intentionality and opening myself up to something bigger, I also realized how much more spiritual writing began to feel for me.
Here’s the truth though — I truly believe it happened because I made it to a point in my life and my inner peace where I could accept a new perspective. A different way of thinking about the world at large. With all I’ve been through and all I’ve seen, I have always believed there was something “bigger” out there than me. And now that I’ve been on this journey of self-discovery and spirituality, I have doubled down on that belief.
Here’s the ironic thing, for someone who avoided anything religious or spiritual for 98.9% of my life, I can’t seem to get enough of it now. I should specify… it’s the learning I can’t get enough of. For the past six months, I’ve been soaking in every bit of information I can find on various religious and spiritual practices. I have an insatiable yearning to learn but lately, it’s more than that. As an empathic, compassionate person, I have a very easy time relating and understanding people, but religion and spirituality (and those who live and die by them) have always been a mystery to me. The learning I’m engaged with right now is another attempt to understand other humans. To understand what and why someone believes what they do. Not to be defiant to them… not to oppose them… to understand them. I truly believe that by understanding how people work and how their motivations and cultures play into their perspectives, there’s a lot more compassion to go around.
The biggest lesson I’m learning through discovering my spirituality? The art of acceptance and surrender. It’s some of the hardest shit I’ve ever had to deal with on an emotional level, but acceptance is the great equalizer, in my opinion. It puts us back on a level playing field. We go from Why Me? to What Now? One of the phrases I’ve heard repeated for this sentiment of acceptance is “And so it is.” It’s simple and to the point. When all else fails and I’m struggling to get past something, I’ve learned to stop myself and accept what is, often with a silent “And so it is.”
It’s been difficult to explain to others who know me where I’m at in this new spiritual journey, especially those who have always known me as the type to avoid any and all talk about religion and spirituality. Some people mock this new journey, I’m on. Others are genuinely confused. But here’s the secret that spirituality has taught me: none of that matters. To me, spirituality is about turning inward and finding peace and serenity within ourselves, and no one can make those decisions except for you. People can try to tell you what they want you to believe. People can try to force you to believe what they want you to believe. But at the end of the day, the relationship we have with our spirituality is the one we decide to have with it.
And so it is ❤
