Our Internal Seasons

Aug 12

Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter.

We are all familiar with the four-ish (if you live in the Midwest, we sometimes have 5th in-between season) seasons. But did you know that you cycle through these seasons internally as well? More times than not, your internal seasons don’t correspond to the actual seasons, though sometimes they might.

Why am I talking about internal seasons at all? Well, because we’ll also be talking about our creative and writing cycles in later articles, and to understand those, we must also understand where our internal cycles are at. When I began to see patterns and repeated cycles all over the place, I realized that it might be time to explore the inner workings of my internal seasons and that allowed me to give myself self-compassion for the past me who didn’t understand what I was going through or grappling with. I’ve found that so many of my students, clients, and friends succumb to panic when they feel “off” or in a “rut.” I wanted to share this idea of internal seasons so that you (and everyone, really) can bring a little more self-compassion into your life and perhaps begin exploring what these seasons mean to you individually. So let’s get into what these seasons look like internally.

Winter

Personally, winter is the most recognizable of internal seasons. Like the actual season, winter is a time in our lives when we feel closed in, insulated, lethargic, and possibly depressed. It’s that feeling of restlessness without reason and desire without certainty. We often know something is amiss. We feel the rumblings and stirrings of something within us, but we can’t yet identify it. And because we don’t know the cause of it, we often fall into the cycle of despair and longing. We desperately want OUT of this season, yet we feel mired and stuck in it.

But… winter is also the place where we find stillness, retreat, and hibernation. And within those moments, we often find traces of transformation and growth beginning to take shape. Winter is such a necessary internal season for us because it breeds introspection. Being in an internal winter is akin to the “being” stage in The Empowered Writer Path. We are going through the motions, trying to suss out where we began and what is now ending so that we can restart the cycle of Spring and Learning.

Make no mistake — you have been in an internal winter season before and will be there again. There’s no escaping it. So if there’s no escape, what are we to do when winter descends upon us?

We embrace it and try to make the most of the positive aspects.

Because for every shadow, there is light. And Winter’s light is so very necessary for our growth into the other seasons. When we can lean into the light of our winter season, we often find ourselves wondering what needs to be left behind that is no longer serving us. We may begin to think about those things we truly want but haven’t yet had the courage to go after. Winter breeds a magical kind of anticipation, especially when we acknowledge that it won’t be winter forever. The question emerges at some point:

What will I do with what I’ve learned during this winter season?

I won’t lie to you — winter can be a brutal season for most of us. Especially if you’re prone to or suffering from depression and anxiety. But I implore you to stick it out. Winter will end, and you will be stronger and more adept at handling it the next time it comes around. I promise you that.

If you are in an internal winter season now, I encourage you to lean into it rather than shy away. Here are a few journaling prompts that have helped me (and some of my clients) get through the winter season:

What does this internal winter season look and feel like for me?
Has it looked or felt like that before? If yes, are there any connections I can make? If not, what seems different this time around?
What do I need for support right now?
What messages does this winter have for me? What am I to be learning or growing from?
Is there something or someone(s) in my life that is holding me back from growth? What needs to be let go of to make it through this winter season?
What do I want to do, feel, be or say when I’m out of winter? What appeals to me about spring or the other seasons?

Spring

Ah, Spring. This season does reflect the actual spring season in terms of rebirth, rejuvenation, and possibility. Just as the flora and fauna emerge from their cocoons, so are you. This internal season brings about a new version of yourself. It may not be outwardly or externally noticeable, but you know that something is different within you. Where winter could have felt potentially stifling, spring feels expansive and open.

This season often gives you the jolt of passion that seemed lacking in winter. It may not be fully realized yet (that’s a summer season trait!), but it’s there, and you notice it. You may start to feel excited about potential opportunities again. You may even start planning new projects that have been simmering beneath the surface during the Autumn and Winter seasons. What’s important to know is that while you may feel overwhelmed with all the new potential and possible routes to take — you don’t have to have all the answers yet. Do you have the capacity to believe that your rebirth and emergence from winter are enough for the moment?

Spring can hit you as quickly and intensely as winter did, but there’s no need for concern. In full-on internal spring season — you are relearning the language of your soul. What you desire. What you want to see grow. Where you are ready to shake off the decay of winter and emerge with fresh skin. Don’t deny yourself this beautiful response! Instead, lean into it. Spring is a season for experimentation and research. It’s the season for asking yourself what might happen if you actually did go after those dreams of yours. It’s a season for readjusting your priorities in preparation for your summer season to run with it.

If you find yourself in a spring season right now, I encourage you to journal about it with these prompts:

What did I learn about my recent winter experience that I’m carrying with me into this spring season?
What good things are happening for me in this spring season?
What am I excited about?
What do I feel like I needed to leave behind to get to this season?
What seeds do I want to plant and nurture now to reap the benefits in my summer and autumn seasons?
What feels different inside of me right now? How is this reflective of my spring season?

Summer

I’ll be honest — I thrive in both the external and internal seasons of summer. It’s where I’m the most productive, prolific, driven, and inspired. The summer season is marked by an overflowing of positive emotions. Everything has come to life and is in full bloom now. You are attuned and aligned with what you desire, and you’re making.shit.happen. There’s electricity in the air that matches the electricity in your body. Magic, creativity, and showing up feel natural and effortless to you. This, my friends, is the summer season.

If the spring season was preparing you for what's to come, then the summer season is all about diving into the work it takes to make your dreams or desires a reality. And yes, there will still be hard work to do. Yes, there will still be “bad” days… but overall, the summer season is one of joy and understanding. You’ve come so far since winter, and it’s your time to literally shine during the summer season.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention some of the shadow sides to the internal summer season because all the seasons are a mixture of shadow and light. With an internal summer, though, the shadow parts are pretty obvious. If you’re someone (like me) who leans into the summer season energy, you risk going overboard. Sometimes, those intense feelings and the drive to build, create, and do steamroll right over what your body is telling you to need. It’s easy to get caught up in the summer season's electric charge, but don’t let it drag you under its shadow. Allow yourself the time and energy to embrace the beautiful moments that the summer season is giving you, but listen to what your body and soul need.

If you feel like you’re in the summer season right now, here are some prompts to help you examine your relationship with it even more:

How does this particular summer season feel to me? Is this a familiar feeling? Something new?
What is the summer season trying to teach me?
What progress, goals, desires, or dreams have I been working on during this summer season?
Where am I dipping into the shadow sides of the summer season?
What or where am I feeling that “electric charge” of energy in my life during this season?
What is something I want to remember or keep in mind when I begin shifting from summer to autumn?

Autumn

Like the flora and fauna in external Autumn, our internal Autumns mimic the cycle of winding down, things preparing to end, and hibernation on the horizon. This is a season where you may be clinging tightly to the residual and lingering energies of summer, but once the last vestiges of it have disappeared, you have no other choice but to admit that Autumn is here.

Autumn is a difficult season for many because it feels liminal. On the one hand, it’s not winter… yet. On the other, you know winter is coming. You can feel it in your bones and in your soul. This limbo between what is and what’s to come is often a source of anxiety, and it’s completely normal. I mean, we’re still riding high on the summer season vibes, and all of the sudden, we are forced to reconcile that summer is no more. Of course, we’re going to feel anxious about that.

For me (and I believe a lot of other people), Autumn then turns into this struggle between maintaining the work we’ve done in the other seasons and trying to address these new and different feelings that are coming up. We think that if we… work harder, exercise more, eat better, and communicate more, we will stave off whatever Autumn has in store for us. But the truth is: it’s coming whether we like it or not. All that energy we put into stopping it will only make us more tired when it descends.

So what’s the answer?

Surrendering.

If we can accept that Autumn is either coming (or already here), then we also realize that what follows is winter. And in my experience, Autumn can either be that “last hurrah” before winter arrives, or it can be a slow and strategic surrendering that eases you into winter. There are no right or wrong answers. It’s just leaning into what is.

If you find yourself in the Autumn season, here are some prompts to help you identify what you may get out of this season before winter arrives:

What have I been working toward in my Spring and Summer seasons that I can now harvest?
What is the duality of the autumn season trying to teach me right now?
Where are the undercurrents of my life starting to bubble to the surface?
Can you identify ways in which your life is happening exactly as you think it should? Or what is going really well?
Where am I resisting the Autumn season lessons?
In what ways can I prepare or ask for support/help as things shift from autumn to winter?

Conclusion

Did you find yourself going through the seasons and shaking your head? Do you identify with one more than another right now? Can you point to instances, events, or experiences in the past that seem “seasonal?” Journal about it!

Here’s a truth I believe: We all encounter these seasons in our lives. All of us. And the more attuned and aligned you are with your internal seasons, the more likely you are to make the best decisions for yourself. I also believe knowing these seasons helps us be a kinder human to ourselves and others.

In my other articles on seasons, we’ll examine how our internal cycles often complement or contradict the seasons of creativity and writing.