My Seedling Stalker Card

“I GIVE THANKS FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO HARVEST KNOWING THAT MY LIFE IS HEADED IN A BEAUTIFUL DIRECTION”
— Chris-Anne, Light Seers Tarot

When Allie suggested the theme for the Augurly this month, a deep calm came over me since I was feeling anxious about it. I’d had a few other themes in mind, but they actually hadn’t felt exactly “right.” But the minute she said Planting Seeds, I knew she was on to something.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so excited though.

I did what I usually do after we choose a theme, I did a card reading for guidance on the articles, and lo and behold, I pulled a stalker card.

With a sigh, I knew intuitively what it wanted from me.

It wanted me to write about it.

First, let me explain what a “stalker” card is. It’s a card (Tarot or Oracle) that you keep pulling over and over again in your readings. That usually means it’s trying to tell you something. For me, it tends to mean that I’m not listening to Spirit. Now, your stalker cards can and do shift.

For example, if you’re about to go through a huge transition in your life, you may pull cards that have to do with cycles, endings, or transitions, (Death, Tower, Hanged Man, Chariot, Sun, Wheel, World, etc). And after that certain period of your life has passed, you may no longer pull that card.

Then there are the “stalker” cards that come to you repeatedly when you face the same issue over and over in your life. It’s meant to be taken as a sign or a nudge. You really only understand this after you’ve been pulling cards for a few years and have the data and patterns to realize this is happening.

So the card I pulled was the Seven of Pentacles.

At the root of this card is: patience.

And anyone who knows me knows that patience is one thing I don’t have enough of. And when it comes to planting seeds… well, I’m the first one to admit that I’m usually on the ground, watching the soil, begging the seed to hurry the hell up and sprout already.

Which is precisely why this damn stalker card is showing up.

Every time I pull this card, I hear a little voice inside my head say, “Oh ye of little faith!”

Because planting seeds and waiting for them to grow is a form of magic. It is a form of trusting in the unknown, the uncertainty that you’ve done all the right things beforehand to make things just right so that little seed has all it needs to grow.

This metaphor extends to so many things in our reality too. I don’t have human children, but I can imagine it’s true for parents and how they feel about parenting — making sure their little seedlings have everything they can possibly be given to grow sturdy and strong and make it on their own.

The same is true of our dreams, I think.

We work so hard to put all the right pieces into place before we plant the seed. Sometimes even overworking the soil! But regardless, we put it in any way and the best we can do is hope that we’ve done enough.

But it’s the waiting that kills us, right? The waiting and watching and wondering.

And that’s where I get myself into trouble and why this card often shows up.

Because in that interim of waiting, watching, and wondering — I second-guess myself. I doubt my abilities. I doubt that I did enough to prepare. I doubt that my seedling is going to even pierce through the soil to sprout.

I start spiraling into an anxiety tornado that maybe, my seedling isn’t good enough to grow. No, not even that — maybe I don’t deserve to have my seedling grow.

But then this card shows up and brings me back down to reality. Grounds me and tells me… slow down. You can’t see the seedling once it’s been planted. It’s out of your control. It’s up to the Universe to work its magic. You can water it, nurture it, and give it love, but ultimately, it’s going to happen with or without you.

There’s something beautiful and terrifying about that, right?

But it also takes a bit of the pressure off, too.

It’s funny because I always sigh and feel a bit annoyed when this card shows (just like I did when I pulled it for these articles) and yet… it almost always comes right before a breakthrough.

So why do I resist it? And the bigger, larger question — why do we resist surrendering to the unknown when usually it turns out for our greater good? Why do fear that which we don’t know?

Look, I don’t have the answer. I’m asking that in genuine curiosity because I’m human and I don’t think any of us have the answer, but asking the questions keeps me from going crazy and I suspect if you’re anything like me, they probably keep you from going crazy, too.

I also suspect that is why this stalker card keeps popping up. To confirm and comfort me when these questions start giving me anxiety.

As if to say, “Hey, calm the fuck down. Shit is happening beyond your wildest imagination and if you can learn to just… be, you’ll see the magnificent rewards of your efforts soon enough.”

Guidance from the Creators

I decided to go straight to some of the creators of a few Tarot decks to see how they talked about the Seven of Pentacles and I was not disappointed. Obviously, my favorite deck of all time (Light Seers) grounded me in a way that no other deck seems to do. Chris-Ann is truly magical. In her description she says:

“If you are watching the plants closely, they never really seem to grow. But when you look away for a moment, they flourish overnight. Trust that things are happening even when you can't see the nuanced energies that are bringing them forth! This card is a sign that you are almost there. You've been doing the work and your wildly successful roots are growing. While you may not see the fruits of your labour yet, know that they are on the way and that any lack that you feel is simply residual energy that you are working through. It's time to root into faith, belief, and knowing... because you've come so far on this journey and it's almost time to enjoy the rewards of your determination. Take a moment to pause, give thanks, and realize that you are the living, breathing result of all of your memories, hopes, dreams and hard work. This is your long-game. The investment. Keep going. Often, this moment will serve as a time to revisit your purpose and your direction.”

After reading and re-reading that paragraph, I swear my heart rate slowed down and my anxiety all but dissipated. This is exactly why my stalker card showed up at this time when I needed it most and why I needed to read this description.

Sometimes… we need to be reminded of the things we know in our hearts, but our minds forget. We do deserve our seedlings to grow. And they will grow. We just have to trust that it’s happening.

Now for the more interesting and woo-woo part of this all…

The Our Tarot’s Seven of Pentacles features Zora Neale Hurston who, if you’re not familiar with her, is a writer and a witch. So this stalker card was already feeling serendipitous when I picked up the guidebook. When I started reading the pages though, I was stunned by the commonalities in the story they chose to tell about Zora and the very seedlings I have been planting lately.

As it turns out, Zora had a patron (and last month, I released my new patronage business model) and she chose to use her funding and her writing abilities to write about and with people who did not have the same luxuries the white, educated people of her time had. She wanted to serve people who had stories to tell but didn’t have the means to tell them (as I do, in a way).

In a way, I feel like this matching up of Zora, the Seven of Pentacles, and all the work I’ve been doing in the past year is a confirmation that things are happening.

I may not see it coming to the surface as quickly as I want. I may not see it happening on a scale that I want — but it’s happening.

I truly believe that.

And my stalker card will keep me reminding me of that, I’m sure of it.