As the Veil Lifts

In my limited time identifying as a word-witch — I’ve believed that the biggest advantage of loving the month of October meant that my connection with the other side was at its most potent. After all, the thinning of the veil often represents that liminal space between life and death that can exist together in one space. Leaning into this archetypal energy of liminality and honoring the dead has meant that I’ve made connections with the “other” side more intentionally and thoughtfully. Respectfully.

But this year, as I dive into my second year-long apprenticeship with my mentor, I’m learning that there is so much more to the veil thinning than just connections with our ancestors or elders.

I didn’t realize that it’s also when we can deepen and tap into the connection with have with ourselves. Not just ourselves, but our shadow sides, too. Maybe even, especially the shadow sides.

It seems so obvious to me now — of course, this season supports the shadows. Of course, October is a witchy person’s dream of sinister and golden shadows.

But we forget that’s the real work. We think we should be in communication with and connecting with all spirits (and that doesn’t mean it’s untrue) when really, we could be (and should be) going back to our wiser self who holds the gifts in our shadows.

One of the seasonal practices we’ve been encouraged to sit with is this idea of how our shadows (specifically, our limiting belief shadows) are holding us back from becoming this wise self. This version of ourselves is where we are at our very best (and I don’t mean that superficially, I mean it in the way that we are at our best when we are fully aligned with our core values, beliefs, actions, and desires).

We were encouraged to visualize and think about where our future selves might be in a few months. What does it look like? Feel like? What kind of person am I? How am I living my life in that vision? What actions am I taking? What decisions am I making? (I know, it’s pretty deep shit!).

Then we were encouraged to think about how we, currently at this moment, are blocking that vision from becoming a reality. As in — what am I doing/saying/thinking today that may obliterate any chance that my vision becomes reality? Those often boil down to limiting beliefs — so we come full circle to excavate that.

Within these shadowy seasonal times, we can get closer and closer to unpacking and exploring what those shadows mean, how they became our shadows, and what we can do to offset how they influence us now and in the future.

As the veil lifts this October, I understand my work is not around connecting to the other side. Rather, it’s connecting to the “other” me. The me I want to exist. The me I want to represent in reality. But that cannot happen unless I’m willing to go into the shadowy parts that hold me back.

Another big part of this work isn’t just recognizing the shadow parts of myself — it’s recognizing that those shadows are indicators of the overculture at large. There is always a connection between our personal shadows and the world at large. Always. And when you look at it through that lens, it opens up an entirely new perspective through which you see your shadows.

Though this is very vulnerable to share, I feel as if I must to show you what I mean by this work.

Mini Case Study

In thinking of my big vision and the future me (which I discovered during a long meditation and visualization exercise), I found myself in a scenario that feels both possible and impossible (and that IS the paradoxical energy we often feel with our big visions, right? The thing we so desperately want yet it feels so out of reach).

I found myself completely and fully immersed in a world of writing. I saw myself attending writing retreats, leading writing retreats, working on books, and sitting in circle with other writers who want to excavate the powers of writing for more than just profit. I saw myself being 100% aligned with my inner knowing of living a writer’s life.

Stepping back from that vision and thinking about the shadows around it — I very clearly recognized that one of my biggest limiting beliefs around this is that I cannot have this writing life without sacrificing… without suffering for it. That for this vision to become reality, I would have to radically change my life in order to “afford” it. And by that, I mean in all ways — financially, emotionally, mentally, physically.

Stepping back from that realization, I asked myself — why do I believe this to be true? Why do I feel like I can’t live this vision without first having to suffer for it? Well, because in our overculture, there are both direct and indirect insinuations that you do not get to achieve your “big dreams or visions” without it being difficult. You do not get to have your reality without sacrificing so much of yourself, like your time, energy, financial resources, family, etc. We are constantly told (even if it’s indirectly) that the “American Dream” is only for a select few, and those select few must adhere to the “rules” of getting it. No one can have it if it’s “easy” or “effortless.” No one can be both financially secure and live out their passionate life.

Is that true? I want to believe that it is not. But I see now how that overculture shadow influences and affects the way my own limiting beliefs show up around my vision.

So how do we move forward? How do we recognize the limiting beliefs of both the world at large and within ourselves in order to make our vision a reality?

I don’t have the answer, but I believe it resides in connecting with and exploring those shadows in depth. It means unlearning and unhooking from the “powers that be” that reinforce our limiting beliefs and looking further within to see how the shadows can be brought to the light.

Because here’s the thing — the shadows stay in the shadows until we shine a light on them. You can’t unknow what you know. You can’t unsee what you’ve seen. So the shadows thrive on staying there in the dark, but when we bring them into the light, they lose some of their power over us. They lose a little bit of the influence they have over our decisions and perspectives.

I think the key is staying with those shadows until they’re fully immersed in the light. I’m not sure a shadow ever truly disappears, but I do feel like they lose their charge when we sit with and work through them.

The Work I Must Attend To

As much as I would like to think that this October is meant to be a time of connecting with the other side or reaping the benefits of my love for all things horror — that is not the work that is speaking to me now. My wise self has made it abundantly clear that I’m meant to be diving into these deep internal shadows, these limiting beliefs, because now that I know what my wise self can and wants to be, I don’t feel I have any choice but to find out how to make it a reality.

So as the veil lifts, I’m surrendering to the shadows. I’m allowing it all to exist and then sitting with what exists. It will be uncomfortable. It will most likely be scary, but it’s also what I know I need to do.

Most importantly, though, I know that the thinning of the veil is a gift. I am immeasurably supported by the Universe and my wise self to dive into this work.

And truth be told — I would hate to disappoint this wise self who believes in my vision so fully.